Becoming a mom of two with a colicky baby

Becoming a mom the second time around I was scared, I would even say more worried than the first time. I had to learn how to manage two kids and fulfill both of their needs on my own. I feel like these feelings aren’t discussed as often as they should be. It’s hard to become a mom again to another human.

Well my journey the second time wouldn’t come as easy as the first. I mean delivery was way better and pregnancy too! I mean the newborn with colic was my little surprise. It’s not something you can predict or control. There are so many people who are quick to offer advice who have NEVER experienced colic. Which honestly makes you feel worse because their advice was often useless.

Having a baby with colic sent me on a downward spiral. Emotionally, physically and mentally I was exhausted. By the end of the day I was in tears. I had no more energy. Yet I would spend 80% of my night trying to calm a baby who probably wouldn’t be having it.

The first time around I struggled with anxiety and depression postpartum and I knew that colic could send me there quickly if I didn’t acknowledge that. So I did. I voiced my concerns to my husband and we did what we had to to survive. Colic days were more of a survival mode than anything. I will never regret meal prep since it saved me so many times while dealing with a fussy babe with colic.

Thankfully colic passed at 5.5 months and now he’s 15 months old. But honestly I can say even now those days still creep up where it bothers me. I am still affected by them. I also think he is too. He’s gotten so much better with sleep but he’s definitely not as good as my first baby. My heart hurts thinking back at all the times I felt like I had failed as a mom because he did have colic. I hated myself some days and now I get emotional thinking of how I thought of myself. The things I said to myself I wouldn’t dare say to anyone so why would I do it to myself?! I still can’t answer that. Maybe it was the anxiety or depression creeping in.

But for all those mamas dealing with or who have dealt with colic, I understand you, sympathize with you and raise you up. You are stronger than you know and once it’s over you come out even stronger, if your still in the colic phase I promise you, it ends!